31 December 2016
THE NYE DRAMA
Emerging safe from the New Year’s Eve is undoubtedly the ultimate challenge of the year. It’s not about the ravages of alcohol and calories here, the subject of a distressing triviality. You’ve already survived Christmas, so here you are. The real difficulty lies in the diplomatic organization of the New Year’s Eve.
Until now you have been lazily awaiting the invitation of good friends. Last year, stammered, you had no choice but to hang on to Lucas’s frenzied program. Aperitif on New Year’s Eve 1, main course on New Year’s Eve 2, dessert at New Year’s Eve 3 before going on two parties. Assessment, 10 minutes per night with strangers and 4 hours of traffic jam.
This year, you decided to get started. It’s your turn and who knows, can you be a better master on the big night? Of an uneasy nature, you invited everyone early. Serious mistake. As soon as the invitations are issued for a chosen Christmas Eve around a table of 12 tightly-knit tablecloths, you are overwhelmed by the demands of your guests, since no one is yet in a hurry. Marie can not leave her Hortense on that evening, her hypochondriac and vegan twin. “But … she hates me, she only eats broccoli, and I wanted to invite Alice …”, you try to protest … in vain. Eglantine also finds it cruel to leave Hortense alone … Solidarity of new bachelors. The tension rises … You give in. And you also invite Alice. Antoine calls you with a velvet voice. He convinces you that he really can not come without his cousin from Nice who is coming to Paris for the holidays. This one only likes oysters but it is a heart to take for Alice and Hortense. Eglantine would like to dance and can not leave her last Tinder fiancée. You give in again and tighten mentally the cutlery considering to opt for dessert plates and remove the forks. Of course Marc will not come without Asterix, his adorable greyhound who needs a special menu and a quiet place. This would greatly help Pierre and Juliette, who do not want to lose 300 euros in babysitting this year, if you could foresee a room (by installing a home theater) for their three hyper-active children. In reality, they love to play hide and seek during dinners. The best hiding place is under the table ….
And then there are all those you can not invite. Not that they are cheaper but they are part of another super tight group of friends, so impossible to extract one without vexing the ten others. After all, if they have not given a sign, no doubt they have already organized themselves. The guilt taunts you in spite of everything, while the table of 12 dangerously pangs. It has nothing to do with your starting plans. It is then that a reversal of situation is looming. Marie decides to go to the country side … Would you have upset her? But what about Hortense? Velvet voice and his cousin announce that they will disappear after the drink for another party. There is no way that the cousin misses a glass of champagne. The table resumes its ease. Meanwhile, Romain, Agathe and Michel are slow to decide. “We are very touched … but we will confirm our arrival … probably within eight days” decreed an enigmatic mail answer … ten days ago.
Suddenly an unfair competition appears. Quentin, rich heir of his state, promises everyone a sumptuous feast followed by a party in his living room of 400 m2 with a starry cook, a wood fire and a DJ. And now Romain, Agathe and Michel announce to you that they are not free although they remain “very touched by this adorable invitation”. The table, yesterday overloaded becomes dangerously sparse. Will you end up face-to-face with broccolis and Hortense? No, Hortense follows Marie. Then an avalanche of calls. It is the clan of those who waited in vain until the last minute THE good invitation. You do not have the heart to leave them under the snow. And they are numerous because over the years, curiously, the experienced invitees are becoming scarce. Except to replace the dessert plates with coffee mugs, your plans will definitely shatter. You resign yourself to abandoning your beautiful table and switching to buffet mode. A wild feast. And then, after all, that each one manages … Exsangue, you leave them your apron promising you that … never again.
Next year, it is decided. You may be celebrating Chinese New Year or Russian New Year … But on the 31st you will leave far. Far far away…
Happy holidays to everyone !